He told me what dead was and that he would cut them - they would bleed. He left me there and I could hear his truck start and drive away. I was trembling. I was sobbing. I knew I had done something very bad. I was afraid to go home. I was on the ground in the dirt and tangled up in my pants. My bottom hurt so bad. I was so sorry. I was afraid of my dad. And of my mom. And that I left the yard. I didn’t want to go home. I stayed behind the bricks. I pulled up my pants. There was dirt inside them. I shook the dirt out of them and off me. I stayed behind the brick stack. I imagined that it wasn't a stack of bricks but a small house or fort. And that I could open a secrete door and go inside. I was safe. No one knew I was inside but I could see outside. It was getting late – dinner time. My found me. I refused to go home. She went to get my daddy. He was mad that I was hiding. I was so very scared. I thought I was going to get spanked. At home they asked where I was and what happened many times. I cried and cried. I wanted to be left alone. Dad didn't know the doors were locked. Mom and dad argued. I told them I was naughty and had played in a truck. They asked me who I saw and what happened. I said I could not say and he would hurt them too. They promised he wouldn't. I knew he would. They promised I wasn't in trouble. Mom and dad argued. I was dirty and they put me into the tub. There was blood in my underwear. I farted in the tub and blood came out. I was terrified. My bottom hurt. I wanted to go away. Back into the bricks. After my bath, dad put toilet paper in my underwear. He said it was just like the girls do it. I didn't know that. That I wasn't going to be a man anymore. I was so ashamed. I wished the man killed me. I didn’t talk to anyone anymore. Mom took me to school (the next day?) Outside at school I hid. Everyone went inside. And I felt safer. After a long while the teachers came looking for me. When they found me I wouldn’t go to them. They had to crawl under the playground fort. One was mad the other sat and tried to talk to me. I came out with her later. After school I got to stay inside and watch TV.